We were once men – Jack Ritter

(The remote)

Ahh, the alligator channel.

(The TV)
The mature gator is rebuffed
by the discerning female.
He sighs Oh well,
as a younger suitor moves in.

Hold it, I’m a mature male.
“Oh well”?
What is that?

Did you really just say, “discerning female?”
Discern what?
Lady- we’re all the same.

Do we discern you?
You’re handbags with teeth.

I can’t take this.

… Omaha’s Wild Kingdom.
Alright. Marlin!
This juvenile grouse inflates his throat sac,
waggles his head and waddles with abandon,
while the older males wait to ‘strut their stuff.’

I see. Senior grouses wait in line now.
When was THIS enacted?

Aw, don’t play his game, brother.

To all mature males throughout the animal kingdom:
Stop playing their game.

Pull some strings.
Work the system.
Call in a marker.
Sucker punch those little candy-striped fairies.

Jack RitterJack Ritter lives in Dallas. He’s a retired video game programmer. His publications include: Theory Train, Issue One (Smashwords): Theory Ball,  Austin International Poetry Festival’s 2008 anthology: Remembering to SingRhyme and PUNishment: The Last Manly Summer and Fearlful Fuzzitry, The Red River Review: Divine Trinity, How to Texas barbecue a poem, We Swam for Joy, Women and Lies, Good Things about Hell, Touching myself with Electricity, The Apple Tree. With his wife, he coauthored Life Histories of Serial Murderers in 2001 Proceedings of the HRWG (published by Behavioral Science Unit of the FBI.)