It is out there at sea that you are really yourself —
Vito Dumas, Argentinian explorer and mariner
Vito Dumas, Argentinian explorer and mariner
// Lately I have been writing only near saltwater.
I scribble on the sand and let the sea swallow everything.
// After years of rigorous seafaring
the schooner is being dismembered.
Planks come apart like wasted bones
and barnacles dribble across the breaking yard.
// I swear I am not imagining this:
a sea-beast circles the waves and stalks me
in every ocean. Only the tips of its tentacles
show above the water. I am forever trying to escape
its vinegary embrace.
// I cut the masts off beautiful serif fonts.
I stop dreaming in Garamond.
// I was taught to aspire to be a maritime showpiece,
to measure my value in fickle bullion.
Now here I am, on the cusp of another decade
with an oscillating sense of self.
Why does this truth leave me winded?
Now here I am, on the cusp of another decade
with an oscillating sense of self.
Why does this truth leave me winded?
// Maybe if I had been loved enough,
I wouldn’t be this way.
Maybe if I had learnt to love myself,
I wouldn’t be this way.
Maybe if I had paused to heal,
I wouldn’t be this way.
// Over time, I find ways to keep myself safe,
ward off anyone who might think
I am vulnerable and sponge hearted.
// Why do I feel the same flood of relief
that follows a spell of crying?
Why do I breathe easier now
that my airways are filling up with brine?
Why do I breathe easier now
that my airways are filling up with brine?
Oormila Vijayakrishnan Prahlad is an Indian-Australian artist and poet. She is the author of Patchwork Fugue (Atomic Bohemian Press UK 2024), A Second Life in Eighty-eight Keys (winner of The Little Black Book Competition, Hedgehog Poetry Press UK 2024), and three digital micro-chaps books published by Origami Poems Project (US). Find her on X @oormilaprahlad and www.instagram.com/oormila_paintings
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