Amphigory – Mike Jurkovic

I was buffing urns
when the hoopla started.
Pursuing despair
at minimum wage.
When the rabid extant
of my readership
began to expose
itself.

It had been
a long time coming,
sir. I’d been
churning out books –
Pocket Pool Pete
Hashpipe Church –
clever w/o corpus.

Published under
many shyster imprints
The Blonde w/Blue Shoes
imagine that. Cops.
Cleavage. In a
dirty old town
I used to manage.
A dirty old town
where I took every bribe and
sold every Bible I could.
This was America,
after-all. A capitalist state
and I had some
catching up to do.

There are better writers
out there for sure
But the majority are worse.
Or on par. Take your pick.

I’m a bestseller

and don’t give a damn
about your dissent.

Just purchase ‘n pay
the shipping costs
to a third world nation

I can’t phonate.

It’s safer
that way
and easier to lose
in the mail.

Making it necessary
for you to buy
another copy. Or two
for your aunt
who can’t read.
So tell her
one’s the latest
and let her marvel
in her room
where her diapers sour.

The Charlatan’s Ruse
is being revised
and Christmas is just
around the corner
like it always is. Or isn’t.
This is America, after all.

Mike JurkovicMike Jurkovic’s poems and music criticism have appeared/are forthcoming. His first full collection, smitten by harpies (Lion Autumn Press, 2016); second chapbook, Eve’s Venom (Post Traumatic Press, 2014); Purgatory Road (Pudding House Press, 2010). He’s been included in multiple anthologies and produced CAPSCASTS, recordings from Calling All Poets, available at http://www.callingallpoets.net. Music features, interviews & CD reviews appear in Elmore Magazine & the Van Wyck Gazette. http://www.mikejurkovic.com. He loves Emily most of all.